Sex Work and Sob Stories

11Oct10

I love Serpent’s post so much I have write my own. I think it’s very important to point out the types of harms sex workers face that don’t get the press, don’t get the attention of anti-traffickers and all that jazz. I loved what Serpent said:

…I have had experiences that have been emotionally and psychologically abusive. I found a way to eliminate those from my life and never will I work for any type of agent, manager, or establishment in this industry again. This is what made the difference from me being a scared, depressed sex worker to a emotionally stable and fully independent worker who loves what she does.

Serpent points out that most of her bad experiences were from working for other people. A million fucking times yes to this. This is the face of criminalization, folks. When you make us criminals, don’t let us network and learn and work for ourselves, we get put in shit situations.

This is also the face of stigma. The time I got ripped off out of state, I was doing something legal. No cop would even take my report. I quit the industry for two years because it fucked me up so badly emotionally. There was also the strip club I worked for that wouldn’t let me leave when I had a family emergency, so I had to walk out and quit.

I worked for an agency for a while that wasn’t too bad, as far as agencies go. I had to split my money with them, which I thought kind of sucked, especially since I couldn’t set my own prices. They tried to get me to work more days or days I didn’t want to work, but I was able to hold my ground. I left eventually to strike out on my own as a dominatrix.

And I love being independent, especially now that my life has been really chaotic. I only see who I want, when I want, and all my money is mine.

So yes, I could tell you some sob stories, all of them involving some dude who thinks he’s a fucking pimp treating me like he thinks you treat a whore. And no amount of beefing up the laws is going to stop dickwads like that from abusing women. But if you let the women work together or alone, dudes like that don’t get the same power.

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