On marketing your appearance.


One the things I find most challenging about sex work is the marketing thing. I’ve been on the job market before and did the whole resume writing workshop circuit. I understand that finding any job is about marketing yourself correctly. In sex work, it’s kind of challenging for me.

Most of the sex work I’ve done in the past has involved no marketing. Being independent involves a whole new world of marketing. I’ve not generally convinced on a day to day basis that I am a particularly attractive kind of gal. It’s a hold-over from the eating disorder. As much as I’d like to tap dance and sing the virtues of recovery, that shit ain’t going to happen, gents. I’ve been told I’m attractive and on a good day, I can recognize I’ve got the assets (pun intended) that are deemed attractive by our society. But it’s a disconnect. It’s not really about me, anymore than one of my appendages is me. So to write an ad or describe myself to a potential client, I feel odd. I feel like I’m a fraud.

What I do is mostly about talent, reputation, style. But to pretend like the physical appearance doesn’t matter is fairly blind to the marketplace for erotic services. I’m fine describing my work history and talents in that regard. Just this appearance description. I don’t know. Photos, photos, photos, sure, but to the enterprising whore who doesn’t want to post her face all over the internet description is king.

This sounds like poor little rich girl, I know. It’s one area where I’m pretty fucking aware of privilege. Being “pretty” has opened doors for me and it’s pretty much entirely unearned (except for the gym time I log, which is mostly about getting some muscles because god knows I have none). I know if I wasn’t attractive, I’d be out of work. But the whole idea of marketing it is just so fucking strange to me! Mostly because it is unearned. Sure, make-up, manicures, hair styling. But it’s easier for me to talk about my years of experience because learning how to play pierce is something I did, whereas being attractive is just whatever.

Whine, whine, whine. Shut the fuck up, Jane.


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