Coming out.


I came out to my sister about being a sex worker recently. Being out to those close to me is something I feel is important, though I am not generally comfortable with outing myself to the world at large.

I have been in sex work for a number of years, and yet, I never got around to telling my sister about it. She holds what I can best describe as slightly radical feminist ideas about sex work, even though she’s generally fairly sexually progressive. We tell each other about sleeping around between relationships, about fucking friends for the fun of it, things like that. She has no hang-ups about sex, and she is genuinely supportive of my queer relationships.

She once called my activist ideology toward sex workers rights hooker worship. She sees sex work as a commercial exchange that supports patriarchal oppression of women.

We were driving home from dinner. I’d let her leave her left-overs there because I was so distracted about how I would tell her. Rather, she was driving, and I sat in the passenger’s seat, rehearsing the speech in my head. So I just said it. I told her I had to talk to her about something and she might not like it. I said that I am a sex worker.

She was quiet for a moment, and then said that she would never do anything like the kind of sex work I do, but that she didn’t care if I did. She went onto say that as long as I wasn’t doing it for a self-esteem boost, it was okay. That was that.


One Response to “Coming out.”

  1. Good for you for summoning up that courage. I’m glad she didn’t go on a rant or shame you about it. At least for now, but hopefully she’ll hold to her initial reaction and not redact what she said “after giving it more thought”.

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